Marriage Equality is about Human Rights. We work for all relationships, without exception.
I am inspired today to reflect on our work here at A Peaceful Life Counseling on this historic day for marriage equality. As I sit here in my office, I’m thinking about all of the couples that we provide counseling to. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Straight. Trans. You might not think about the commonalities in all relationships, but your should. Every relationship wants to be secure. Relationship issues are universal, even if how those problems manifest or are treated by society are not treated the same way. Couples need to know that issues are universal and there is help for their relationship. That’s right. Every single couple that comes in is struggling with something that, on one level or another, many many couples struggle with. The joy in this is understanding that we are all the same in our pain, we can shed some light and get rid of shame. Too many couples avoid seeking help for their marriage or relationship because they feel ashamed about it. Defective. Failing.
Now imagine that same feeling compounded by the thought that their relationship isn’t even recognized legally. When the law and society tells you that who you are and who you love are wrong or beneath, you don’t have access to the same pathways to healing and happiness. We want that to change, we work for that to change. Marriage equality must not stop here, but we’ve been working toward this day for a very long time. I remember in the early 2000’s eagerly watching Massachusetts legalize marriage, and expecting naively that it would only be a short time before marriage equality were a nationwide thing. (By the way, did you know that the constitution says that a marriage in one state is automatically valid in another? But this wasn’t applicable to LGBT marriages. Heartbreaking and infuriating.)
I’m sitting here with happy tears knowing that as we all unite as humans, in human relationships, we can give to everyone the support that being seen and heard gives. It heals you to know that you aren’t alone in your pain, that the types of struggles you have are the same things that many struggle with. It heals you to see that your relationship is recognized as a real thing in the law. We need to come together to support the flourishing of love in all of its forms, and today is a wonderful day to continue that.
So, here’s to all of the people who work for the health of our bedrock relationships, both legally and emotionally. Marriage Equality is one important step in promoting relationships, family, connection, and upholding the importance of our most important relationships. Every day we fight for our relationships. We struggle with the issues that love relationships have. We testify and promote legal equality. And at some point, it won’t be taboo for a couple to get support to maintain these most precious bonds. Love is a verb, and it needs to be practiced.
Lesbian relationships matter.
Gay relationships matter.
Trans relationships matter.
Poly relationships matter.
Bi relationships matter.
The relationships of people of color matter.
The relationships of people with disabilities matter.
